We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
