Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
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