the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
