sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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