i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
