Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
