he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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