I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
