I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
we should paint friendship bongs
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
