She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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