In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
