no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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