i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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