Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
