i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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