She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
