She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
