i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
