It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
