look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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