Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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