you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
