mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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