ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
