thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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