with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
