I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
