OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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