How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
