I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
