I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
being pregnant is like rehab
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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