Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
