It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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