I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
