Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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