thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
