There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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