Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
