I wish i was in the wii world.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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