Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
