I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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