you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
