i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
