8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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