Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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