I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
