Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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