hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
