So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
