I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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