Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
