Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
honey bunches of taint.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
